He is always the Lord

  

          We just got back from doctors appointments and I wanted to send out a quick update. Everything is healing good....Jonny's been running fevers at night so they put him on a antibiotic to hold off an infection. 

    The surgeon took out 25 lymph nodes during surgery and 6 came back showing cancer. The ones with cancer were the ones closest to the tumor and the rest were clear. So he will definitely need 5 months of chemo to make sure that anything microscopic floating around is cleared out. 

 Jonny is in good spirits, still uncomfortable and having pain but able to take it a day at a time. The kids were unimpressed by his "poop bag".....a little after we had showed them Jack came up to Jonny and asked to see his "coffee" b/c Jonny had told him thats where what he eats goes. I guess Jack figured coffee is one of the main things he sees going into Jonny's mouth:)

  

 I wanted to put in a quote I read last night by a guy named Fenelon, a 17th century archbishop in France. This will be long so feel free to skip or skim. I keep wanting to be told that everything is going to be ok...we are out of the woods.....its smooth sailing from here ....and I'm never satisfied. Over and again I am forced back onto the fact our only foundation is Jesus, our only surety, our only hope.

"the crosses we make for ourselves by over anxiety about the future are not heaven-sent crosses. We tempt God by our false wisdom, seeking to forstall His arrangements, and struggling to supplement His providence by our own provisions. The fruit of our wisdom is always bitter. .....the future is not ours.....we may never have a future, or, if it comes, it may be completely different from all we foresaw. Let us shut our eyes to what God hides from us in the hidden depths of His wisdom. Let us worship without seeing. Let us be silent and lie still. The crosses actually laid on us always bring their own special grace and consequent comfort with them...but the crosses brought about by anxious foreboding are altogether beyond God's appointments.

        What are we that we should ask Him, 'why are you doing this'? It is the Lord, and that is enough. It is the Lord:let Him do as seems good to Him. Let Him lift up or cast down. Let Him wound or heal. Let Him smite or smooth. Let Him give life or death, He is always the Lord"

On separate occasions Jonny and I both had an experience with the Lord this week. Jonny will have to tell his but mine happened this morning. I was running (well, very slow jogging) with the sun hitting my face and I felt Him whisper "my favor rests on you". As sure as the sun, no matter if its hidden or not, His favor is on me....and I knew thats all I need to know. I need no other assurance, no other promise than this. I am weary and weak and faithless and full of fear but I am hid in His beloved Son and He is pleased with me. He is tireless, all powerful, faithful and full of joy and I am safe in Him no matter what blows around us. It is His desire that His children walk boldly in this knowledge. He is always the Lord and that is enough.